Being Kind to Oneself
Be kind to others, so that you may learn the secret art of being kind to yourself.
Paramahansa Yogananda
We often think of kindness as a way of benefiting others, but kindness can also be something we do for ourselves. Kindness is an integral part of our social interactions and relationships however it is also an important form of self-care. Being kind to ourselves can be overlooked as we balance work and family commitments, but being kind and compassionate to ourselves daily and listening to our personal needs can have a big impact on our mental, physical and emotional well being.
There are many ways to instil kindness in our daily lives, and keeping in mind the power of role-modelling, fostering kindness to the self is an amazing life lesson to share with the children we work with and care for.
One way of being kind to ourselves is to dedicate time to things that bring joy! Finding an activity that feels calming, refreshing or invigorating can bring happiness and peacefulness to a busy mind. These activities might be individual or with people you enjoy spending time with. Whatever the activity, let go of any guilt and recognise that personal time to reflect, recharge, and regroup can do wonders for lowering stress levels, self kindness can have far-reaching benefits.
Adopting a kind inner voice is another way of promoting personal kindness. Respecting and valuing your achievements takes mindfulness and awareness however, stopping to recognise moments of pride or accomplishment can have a great impact on a kinder internal dialogue.
Equally, forgiving oneself and acknowledging the learning opportunities to come out of mistakes is integral to being kind to ourselves. This also feeds into a kinder internal dialogue – imagine what you might say to a child , family member or a friend and try to use the same comforting techniques with yourself.
When we feel stressed, the most primitive part of our brain, the amygdala, is activated. Our amygdala engages without any consciousness and attempts to keep us from danger by triggering our ‘flight or fight’ response. It floods our bodies with hormones designed to address external threats, however most of our stressors in today’s modern world are unlikely to be something that is life threatening. Recognizing and overriding the primitive reactions of our amygdala takes awareness.
Slowing down and being mindful, we give ourselves the opportunity to focus on the present rather than planning our next response or analysing past behaviours. Employing simple strategies like breath awareness and deep breathing can help our bodies handle the physical reactions to stress. A yoga practice also contributes to well being and helps minimize the effects of a busy lifestyle. Next time you take time to practice mindfulness or meditation, consider it a kindness to yourself.
Another way we show kindness to ourselves is to recognise the benefits of healthy eating and exercise. Walking, exercising and simply using muscles in a healthy way all help boost endorphins which help our bodies regulate stress hormones. Planning meals to make sure that they balanced can also help counter the effects of stress and increase well being. Setting aside consistent time for unhurried meals each day helps the body maintain optimum health and is a great time to come together with family and friends.
These suggestions are only a few of many ways to be kind to oneself and finding the method that’s right for you will help to make it enjoyable and sustainable in your life.
When children observe and gain awareness of adults prioritising and valuing kindness to the self, this can become something children emulate for themselves. Offering language around kindness to self can also help to foster this within children, ‘I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, I’m going to take some quiet, calm time.’ or ‘I love taking time to garden, it makes me feel so happy!’
When we take care of ourselves, mentally, physically, and emotionally, we are in a better position to care for others.
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