Montessori, Kindness & the Voice of the Child
Children often see the actions of a respectful adult as kindnesses – behaviours they can emulate as they play with their peers. Observers often remark how quietly busy the children in a Montessori environment seem to be. Respecting the space their peers are using, each child is encouraged to treat their classmates the same way the adults in their environment treat them – graciously and with respect. Children are supported as they learn to care for themselves, care for the environment, and care for each other. This underpinning attitude of respect for yourself, your friends, and the environment encourages acts of kindness amongst the children in the community.
Dr. Montessori identified key stages of development that children universally pass through as they grow. Within each of these stages of development, caregivers have the opportunity to support the child’s understanding of – and practice of – kindness. In the first six years of life, children are absorbing everything they experience, soaking up new information and gaining new knowledge and skills.
From birth to age three, they learn without conscious effort. Montessori called this the unconscious stage of development. During this stage, toddlers observe the actions of others and often mimic what they have witnessed as they gain new skills and repeat familiar routines. In this stage, caregivers showing kindness helps introduce the concept of kindness to these youngest children.
Between the ages of three and six, the child develops more conscious awareness of their own learning. They continue to absorb knowledge through experiences and hands-on activities, but are more likely to consciously make choices. Montessori identified specific sensitive periods, when a child is focused on learning specific aspects, during this stage of development. During these sensitive periods – for order, social aspects, language, the senses, movement and small objects – kindness can be included with support that meets the needs of these early learners. Adults role-modelling kind actions and behaviour becomes a key method to introducing the concept of kindness and establishing it as the ‘norm’.
By the age of six, children pass into a stage of development that supports more abstract thinking. They become more social, eager to engage with peers and work together in collaborative learning. Their strong sense of relationship with other children and desire for social engagement makes them more aware of the concept of fairness. Their increased focus on what is – and what is not fair – offers new opportunities to explore how kindness helps in their relationships with their friends and classmates.
Similarly, classroom ground rules help children learn to care for the environment and respect the community space. Work mats delineate work spaces and children are shown how to respect the space by walking around – instead of over – a mat another child has laid out. Being careful and respectful of others can often be seen as acts of kindness by others in the group. Mixed age classrooms also support a culture of kindness in the Montessori environment, as younger children see their older peers help other young learners in the classroom, they witness selfless acts of support – true kindnesses between their classmates.
Many Montessori classrooms have a special space for managing conflicts called the Peace Table. At the Peace Table educators can facilitate reconciliation between children who have had a disagreement. They guide the children through a structured process of conflict resolution where each child has the opportunity to describe their perspective and share their feelings. They take turns talking back and forth until they both feel heard and ready to move on. The Peace Table shows children how to resolve conflicts in a kind and caring way.
When the adults in the environment model respect for the child and help children learn to care for the environment, it helps strengthen the young child’s awareness of their feelings and the feelings of others. Awareness of the feelings of others is the foundation for learning to be kind. In the Montessori classroom, kindness is a natural result of the child’s growing understanding of their needs and the needs of others.
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