What is Kindness?
The Oxford dictionary defines kindness as ‘the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate’. Aristotle, in Book II of Rhetoric, expands on this, saying kindness is, ‘helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped.’
We usually recognise kindness when we see it and often recognise opportunities to offer kindness to others as we go about our day: sharing a compliment, holding a door open for someone else, returning a dropped item back to its owner or adding items to our shopping for someone unable to shop for themselves. All of these acts of kindness show our consideration and concern for other people and are things we do without expecting to be compensated.
Kindness is Action
A key element of kindness is action. Being kind is taking action that shows another person you care about them. At its core, kindness is doing something that benefits another person and makes their day a little better, their mood a little happier, or a task a bit easier. Kindness supports prosocial reciprocity, satisfying a basic human need for relatedness. As social beings, kindness is a fundamental element of the social construct we have developed within society and community. It is part of a set of social norms and rules, the expectations of how to behave within society.
This video podcast with Dr Michael Karlin and Shane O’Connor from the Center for Compassion, Integrity and Secular Ethics at Life University, explores their understanding of kindness and compassion and what it can look like in reality:
The Benefits of Kindness
Acts of generosity can encourage the development of positive relationships, appreciation and gratitude towards others. As such, kindness can also be a form of self-kindness, strengthening our relationships with others and increasing our own well-being. An act of kindness has a direct benefit to the recipient; in some way, their day has been brightened through the actions of another. The person performing the act of kindness also benefits, through the appreciation of others and a sense of satisfaction in helping. Surprisingly, studies have found that kindness doesn’t benefit only the recipient or performer of an act of kindness, even people observing an act of kindness benefit from the observation. For the giver, receiver, and observer of a kind act, neurochemistry within the body stimulates the production of chemicals that promote our sense of well-being: serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine. For everyone who is involved or observes, the effect on the brain is the same. Serotonin increases happiness and helps regulate appetite, sleep and memory, Oxytocin helps regulate emotional responses and encourages prosocial behaviours and Dopamine production increases our sense of well-being by increasing blood flow and elevating moods.
Measuring Kindness
In a study done to determine if it is possible to create a “measure of kindness”, researchers found that kindness, like attachment and generativity, is not an individual personality trait but rather is a construct that links people to each other as part of our social world. In their research they found total scores across all kindness scales were significantly different between male and female participants and when assessing the associations between the scales and age, scores tended to increase with age, with kindness measuring generally higher in participants over 40 years old. People in the helping professions also tended to measure higher on scales of overall kindness.
Kindness is Social
As a prosocial behaviour, kindness helps build relationships with loved ones and with others. Studies examining who we tend to be kind to found that people generally show more generosity towards close others. There also tends to be a societal expectation for greater kindness in people where helping is part of their profession.
Acts of kindness help another, but they also contribute to our own mental health. By being kind, we affirm our connectedness with others, demonstrate that we care about them and their well-being, and offer our support.
Kindness connects us, and connection strengthens our social bonds and individual well-being.
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